Whar? Up Thar!

Long time me no speaky.

Thought I would update my life to the world. I'm tired...The End. No really it is. I'm dying in 7 days because I saw that video. You know that video of a carrot stabbing people in the eye. Yeah, well that carrot got to me and stabbed me in the eye. I screamed "Jew Bastard!" and chased it. It ended with me tripping over a log and doing a faceplant onto a bear's ass. It was all like mad and crazy with it's swinging arms. I thought it wanted to dance and tried dancing with it, but everytime I got close to grab his paws, he'd smack me across the face with his claws. After getting smacked 15 times I realized it wouldn't work. So I screamed "Fine, I thought you loved me!" and jumped onto the back a passing bike rider. I missed and nailed the back tires with my nuts. Talk about pain!

I rolled around for 5 minutes then for some reason the world started spinning. That's when I realized I'm rolling down a hill. It was crazy because there were these people yelling at me. I wondered why ... so I tried to concentrate and look to see if anything was following behind me. Sure enough, it was that bear! I thought "Sum bitch is back!" Funny part is he wasn't rolling at all, instead he was strapped to a rocket that only went 2 MPH. I finished rolling down the hill and closed my eyes. What I saw next was unbelieveablely, the most sexiest thing ever.


Spam in a can.


I opened my mouth to eat it, but then everything froze. I'm telling myself "aaaawwww fuck that, no one's fucking with my spam." I went and punched the time keeper in the face for trying to fuck with me. Maybe one day that bitch will learn not to fuck with me.



Until then...
-I love you!
P.S. You rock Tim Buckley, I love your comic strips!